Your tits are I can't wait for
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
