Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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