My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
