I'm going to jail i love you
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
