I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
