the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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