I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
