so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
