I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
