I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
