I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
