Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
