so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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