woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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