This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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