go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
