Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.

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(906): View more from Michigan

Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.

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(720): View more from Colorado

How did work go after you told them you were in jail?

(402): View more from Nebraska

Great they tried to bail me out.

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(360): View more from Washington

He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.

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(905): View more from Ontario

i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat

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