Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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