Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
