I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
organizing the empties. That sober.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
try to milk me bitch
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
