Me. At least after what I've been through.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
