Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
