well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
