then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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