Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
