i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
