There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
