When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
