And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
