Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
