Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
love makes seman taste better
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
