I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
