Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
