OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
