am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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