I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
