She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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