I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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