Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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