Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
