And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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