when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
