I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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