you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize