the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
