i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
