Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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