well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize