you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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