she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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