Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
