when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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