just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
