So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
