was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
