I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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