Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
