I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
