im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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