oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
