so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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