I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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